Blame it on the parent


“We moms rub off on our children. Over time our way of thinking becomes their way of thinking, too. If we want to raise kind daughters, we need to start by being kind mothers, remembering always that the best way to influence the culture is to set a positive example under our own roof.”

This was taken from Kari Kampakis’s website, a brilliant parenting website. I love her words and her work.
She explained how she was overjoyed that her children had found true friends. The kind of friends that were genuinely ecstatic at the achievement of their friends even if they were contesting against them.

She related how her fourth grader was selected as class president with the help of her best friend who was also contending for the same post. She was pleasantly surprised by how ecstatic both her daughter’s best friend and her mother were when they knew Kari’s daughter had been selected. They called within minutes to congratulate her and share the joy.

That’s truly inspiring. Instead of trying to soften the blow of not being elected as the class president, both the mother and daughter were upbeat and genuinely happy for Kari’s daughter.

My eldest heard whispers that she might be selected as school prefect. Instead of being excited and proud about it, she hushed both her younger sister and I. She was afraid that her friend might intervene and spoil her chances of getting it.
I didn’t know what to say. I was sad she felt that way but I could not say anything against it because she had her own reasoning and was convinced of it.

She is a kind soul. She has touched my heart many times with her kind gestures. Whenever we are on a holiday or out sightseeing, she doesn’t get excited by all the glitz and glamour the city has to offer, she looks beyond that. She never fails to point out the poverty and the less fortunate people she saw. She would order too much food and give it to them. She would cry and feel sad especially for the children. I know there is a lot of goodness in that heart of hers so when she was suspicious of her friend that felt a little off.

Parents are usually blamed for children’s behaviour and I shan’t deny it. It may not be entirely true but to some extent parents do influence their child’s behaviour (knowingly or unknowingly).

I am a nervous wreck when we travel to a new place and I’d be badgering ‘stranger-danger’ into my children’s heads. I would tell them not to trust strangers because you could never know their true intention. Have I gone overboard? Have my intentions of wanting to safeguard my children from the many tragedies that are reported in the media backfired? I don’t want her to turn into a paranoid schizophrenic. So I am taking the easy route out. I am going to blame that friend of hers and her parents for their wrong upbringing because it’s way past midnight to be boggling my head with this shit.

Oh, by the way, she has been selected as a school prefect and we are in the midst of making her new school uniform.

Sometimes it is best to leave matters alone. They have a way of fixing itself. Placing too much attention may only feed the problem. 

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10 thoughts on “Blame it on the parent

  1. There’s so much to worry about when it comes to being a parent. The naughty things my two-year-old has learnt from Scooby Doo is worrying…! Thanks for the read.


  2. As parents, I believe that we are all doing the best that we can with what we know. I look back at the childhood my now grown kids had, and sometimes wonder how did they turn out so amazing when I didn’t really think I knew what I was doing. Thanks for sharing your own self-doubt.


    1. I too am sometimes pleasantly surprised at some at what my kids are capable of doing but try my best to be good role model. I don’t succeed always but keep trying.


    1. So true. Every day I am learning and relearning. The master has become the student. It is a breath of fresh air to see these little humans navigating in this big world of ours. What gets me always, is their honesty and fairness.


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