To assume is to make an ass out of you and me. That’s something I heard long time back at some camp. But it has never stopped me from making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.
Assuming, that’s the first thing I do when something goes wrong. But I try to refrain from blurting out my assumptions because too many times, I had been wrong. I was the ass to assume the wrong thing.
Assuming is quite natural I must say. It’s like a defense mechanism to ease guilt of wrong doing or to make one feel better about oneself in an unfavourable situation. The mind starts working at warp speed to find excuses or reasons why I am not wrong at whatever wrong had taken place. So the easiest way out is by playing the blame game.
Shift the blame to another, start doubting the other or completely be ignorant about it and walk away.
A funny thing happened today, which is the reason why I am sitting writing this post. My anniversary is coming up soon and I wanted to surprise my partner with a little gift which had a naughty message.
For the record, I am not so good at pulling surprises. I don’t think I have ever successfully pulled a proper surprise without spoiling it. Alas, today was no different.
I was suppose to hide the gift where he was sure to find it and be pleasantly surprised, but a fright was all he got. “It gave me palpitation and a tiny heart attack for a millisecond”, he confessed.
In my defence it was a half baked plan which he foiled because he was too curious.
I had just received the gift, hand delivered to me, when my toddler got up from her nap and started screaming. I quickly grabbed the parcel, stashed it in his office and dashed to my bedroom. He walked in moments later and discovered it.
It was the naughty note and the handwriting on the card plus no signature that shocked, not pleasantly, him. “Who’s this for and from whom?” he demanded immediately.
“Ah man, why you had to be so nosy? It’s for you darling” I sighed knowing my surprise was ruined. “But what for?” he wanted to be certain that I wasn’t playing any games. “C’mon don’t be modest, you know it’s for you” I added with a cheeky smile.
We had a good laugh later on. But just imagine hadn’t he asked me about the note, it would have been a whole different story, until of course I surprised him with it the way I intended to. But that small window, when he assumed, would have flared up like a flame. Would have fed his doubt and worse.
So yea, making an assumption is easy. I do it all the time but how you handle it, can make or break a relationship.
Some like to sleep on it as to avoid confrontation while others want an immediate response.
Whichever you pick the just remember there is a lot of wisdom in this cliche; don’t go to bed angry. And there is a lot of strength in apologising.
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