The meaning of fatherhood

Yeay! Another celebration which means another day I don’t need to cook. I have been cashing out on these celebration as an excuse to not cook and eat out. Ahhh….the joys of eating out; no cleaning and washing to worry about.

It’s father’s day today, so my girlfriend and I decided to treat our big boys. We started off the day with some swim wear shopping, technically this was more for us for our upcoming beach trip but a little (2 hours long!) detour never hurts anyone, right? Bit we made sure we rewarded them well for their patience and support in picking up the right one; an early scrumptious dinner with the kids.

It was definitely a day spent well.

So what’s the big deal with this day or any day is usually the discussion on such days. We aren’t cynical. It was just a healthy debate.

So the topic ‘How fatherhood has changed you’ came up and some very interesting issues were discussed because my husband had written and shared some clever points with efy.com (an online magazine) Here are some of the points that were originally written for an  online magazine:

Q: How fatherhood has changed you as a person?

A: Well, for one, I’ve sort of become my own dad. I’ve started to be more responsible about how I handle myself as a person, no more slacking about and certainly no more taking things for granted. Why? It became naturally obvious that I’ve got to respect myself before the persons I love the most would respect me as one of the 2 adults in their lives. This was a gradual change but still a change that I can see for myself.

The second change, which was hard for me to admit, is that I’m far lesser of a misogynist than before being a father of 3 girls, or hopefully not one anymore. I’ve always thought myself to be a bit of a fair person with the fairer sex but it wasn’t fully true. I would be lying to myself if I never thought that I was better than the girls in my class or the women in my workplace. But having 3 girls as my beautiful daughters have taught me about how strong they are spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

My wife and I have made it a conscious decision to ensure that our 3 girls will never feel as if they are weaker than the boys in the lives. The fact that they play a male dominant sport like football is a testament to that.

Q: What were the most challenging times of fatherhood while your child was growing up?

A: Initially, coming from a society that celebrates the male offspring more than the females, I found it extremely irritating or even angered when reacting to consoling relatives or the odd elder at our prayer grounds. “2 girls? Oh, hopefully the next will be a better result.”
But closer to home, my biggest challenge as a parent is to check my temper when dealing with my kids’ tantrums. Patience is a virtue and you learn a lot of that being a parent.

We wanted to bring our girls up as strong willed and vocal ladies, brave and confident. But we also wanted to make sure we don’t neglect discipling them, about following through with their commitments, about being fair, about not taking things in life for granted. It’s a fine balance, and I tend to raise my voice a lot. Being a calm and respectful father can be very challenging for me.

Q: Describe the joys of fatherhood

A: The biggest joy is seeing my child realize, bit by bit, on what’s important to them, and that they need to grow up being passionate about the important things. My most vivid memory about this is seeing my eldest save her whole lunch (she didn’t touch a single bit) in a fast food restaurant so that she could share the food with some children beggars (which she’s never seen in her life) outside the restaurant. She sincerely cared for them and begged to buy more food for them.

The other joy is seeing them growing up showing the characteristics that we had wanted them to have since there were born. Brave. Opinionated. Caring. Sincere.

Happy father’s day!

Thank you for stopping by at BeeRaise. Hope you enjoyed my story  & let’s stay connected for more:

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